No Regrets
by Eggbert
Summary: There's a wedding to attend, some time after Hogwarts. See it from Seamus's POV. Warning contains m/m slash of the non graphic variety.


NO REGRETS by Eggbert  
  
Summary: - There's a wedding to attend some time after Hogwarts. See it from Seamus's POV.  
  
Rating - R for m/m slash, and appalling language.  
  
Disclaimer: - Martin Fletcher belongs to me, as does the plot. The rest are the property of JK Rowling who can have 'em back when I'm finished.  
  
Notes: - This idea stuck, whining " Oh come on, you're not doing anything else! " I also like the idea of a slutty Seamus.  
  
Dedication: - To Cali who gave me my first ever review and has stuck with it ever since. This one's for you, love. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
I felt bright sunlight pressing against my closed eyelids so I gave up trying to sleep any longer. I was in my tiny bedroom, which lets face it was all bed. At least I was alone, which was unusual. I could get ready in peace without entreaties from whichever partner I had picked up the night before to come back to bed. They never last. It's always passionate, transient then fare thee well. No regrets.  
  
~ I'm such a slut~ I thought as I stood under the shower letting the warm water gush over me. I didn't want to be late. It was a very important day and I'd been looking forward to it ever since I got the invitation,  
  
~ Mr and Mrs Peter Granger request the pleasure of the company of  
  
Dr Seamus Finnigan  
  
At the wedding of their daughter Hermione  
  
To Mr Ronald Arthur Weasley. ~  
  
  
  
I looked in the shaving mirror and the soapy face of Dr Finnigan looked back. Ever since puberty hit (hard, And how) I discovered a natural talent for healing which led to loads of tutorials with Madam Pomfrey and finally to my Healer's job at St Mungo's. The job is perpetually exciting and stimulating and it's something that I'm very good at.  
  
I work hard and play hard too. Girls, guys, doesn't matter. I love to fuck and I'm very good at that as well.  
  
" Irresistible. " I grinned at my reflection as I finished shaving.  
  
" Hussy. " replied the mirror primly.  
  
" Oh, shut up! " I howled, dragging a comb through my sandy hair, spiking it firmly with wax. Still naked I returned to the bedroom, dressing carefully in a beautifully cut navy-blue suit. It's a Muggle wedding and it feels good to be out of robes and my usual cruising gear.  
  
I tucked my wand in my pocket after I'd performed a Tidying Charm. Everything was pristine. Well, you never knew. Weddings are a great place to meet girls...and guys. Still grinning, I locked the door and Disapparated.  
  
The Muggle church where the wedding was to be held was a very grand old building and I had no trouble finding it. As I approached it I realised I was sweating. Would he be here?  
  
Two redheaded men stopped me at the church door. One of them immediately grabbed my interest.  
  
Tall, elegant, flaming red hair nearly to his slim waist and an earring. Lovely. The other man was slightly shorter but almost twice as broad with a sweet good-natured face and it was he who spoke first.  
  
" Bride or groom? " he asked  
  
" Er.." I stuttered. He sighed.  
  
" Are you a friend of the bride or the groom? So we know where to sit you. " You jackass, was his unspoken addition.  
  
" Oh right. Er, both. I was at school with both of them."  
  
" Awkward bugger, Bill. " replied the man. Suddenly I realised who they must be. Bill and Charlie Weasley, Ron's oldest brothers.  
  
" You must be Seamus? " enquired Bill.  
  
" Er, yeah. " I replied.  
  
" Come with me. There's a pew reserved for the old Gryffindors. " He said, leading me up the aisle to where Neville was sitting forlornly. He brightened when he saw me and I grinned at him.  
  
Poor Neville. He was always so hopeless at school. It's ironic that he should be the only one of us to stay there as the Herbology teacher after Professor Sprout retired He's been engaged to Ginny Weasley for what seems like forever and I teased him about expecting to attend his wedding in the near future because I was partial to wedding cake. He laughed and we chatted as we waited for the rest of the congregation to arrive.  
  
Parvati, stunning in deep scarlet, slid into the pew next to us. I hugged her; it had been such a long time since I'd seen her. Working for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures takes her all over the wizarding world. She talked about her nephews and nieces, Padma's children, growing up in France and I smiled.  
  
My eyes strayed to the front of the church. There was Ron, pale green and trembling with Harry at his side. Harry was almost heartbreakingly beautiful that day, carelessly elegant in his morning suit as he tried to soothe poor Ron's nerves.  
  
And - yes - I spotted Harry's lover a few rows back, that silver-blond hair was unmistakable.  
  
Draco Malfoy, who had cut all his ties with his family and the Dark Arts and was working at the Ministry while Harry was probably the world's best Quidditch reporter, currently working for the Daily Prophet.  
  
Malfoy had given up everything for the dark-haired man with the brilliant green eyes. I could only be envious of such love.  
  
At the very last minute the one I was hoping to see sidled into the pew beside Parvati. We had no opportunity to say anything as the vicar was beckoning Ron and Harry forward and asking us all to stand.  
  
I looked back. Hermione was walking up the aisle clinging to her father's arm, a nervous smile on her beautiful face. She was all beauty that day, swathed in ivory silk and lace and clutching a bouquet of Gryffindor-red roses. The colour had returned to Ron's face as he stepped forward eagerly to take his bride's hand. Lavender and Ginny, the bridesmaids, came to a halt behind them and the ceremony began.  
  
I found it hard to concentrate with his intoxicating presence so tantalisingly near.  
  
Dean Thomas. By best friend at school and whom I haven't spoken to since the night before we graduated because I'm a fucking idiot who didn't know when to keep my trap shut.  
  
I had been a real predator at school but the one I really wanted the one I craved just didn't seem interested. Then, at the party to celebrate the end of out NEWTS, I got pissed and told him that I wanted him.  
  
To my dying day I'll never forget how shocked he was, how he backed off leaving me bereft and heartbroken and all because a standing prick has no conscience. I mentally kicked myself all over Hogwarts the next day but the damage had been done. My only love and I had blown it, big time. Then, of course, we were scattered to the four winds and I hadn't heard from him since.  
  
Shit, he was probably married to a beauty with a couple of ankle-biters, darkly beautiful like their father. I forced myself to concentrate as the vicar intoned.  
  
" I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride. "  
  
" Go on Ron! " cheered the wizard contingent and he blushed as he pulled Hermione into his arms and gave her a gentle kiss.  
  
After the bridal party had left we all go up to follow. The Prof., looking severely smart in an emerald green skirt suit, warned us.  
  
" Disapparate discreetly for heaven's sake. I'll see you all in the Leaky Cauldron. "  
  
I looked around for Dean but he had already gone. Draco stood there looking pensive.  
  
" You look as lost as I feel. " he said, smiling shyly at me.  
  
~God, Harry. You lucky bastard, ~ I thought ~ He's fucking gorgeous~  
  
" We should go together," I said, grinning.   
  
" Good idea. " he said, grinning back.  
  
When we arrived at the Leaky Cauldron we had to greet the bridal party before we could be seated. I shook hands with Ron and Hermione's parents. Both fathers were extremely wet around the eyes. Harry gave me a brotherly hug.  
  
" Good to see you, Seamus. " he said.  
  
" You too. " I grinned. Ron also hugged me and said how pleased he was to see me.  
  
" Can I kiss the bride, then? " I asked mischievously.  
  
" Honestly, Dr Finnigan. " replied Hermione teasingly. " You don't improve with age. "  
  
I grinned as I grabbed he and gave her a very thorough kiss which left her very red-faced and Ron howling.   
  
" Hey! Lay off! "  
  
We all creased with laughter. It was the kind of daft thing I would have done in the common room at Gryffindor Tower but it was a touch undignified for a wedding.  
  
" Typical, Finnigan. " said an icy voice behind me. The Prof.'s beady eyes were disapproving and I hung my head before grinning at her.  
  
" Good to see you too, Professor McGonagall. " She blushed. Gotcha.  
  
Lavender gave me a look of pure venom. She still hadn't forgiven me for going out with her and screwing Justin Finch-Fletchly at the same time. Can't say I blame her. I kissed Ginny, but in a chaste way because Neville was watching me like a hawk. She's beautiful. Neville's a lucky swine as well.  
  
All the old Gryffindors (and one Slytherin) were at the same table for dinner. Draco kept us all entertained with his impressions of senior members of the Ministry, which made us all howl. Love had softened him, stripped him of his arrogance.  
  
It was just like being back in the Great Hall at mealtimes as we chatted about what we had been up to. I couldn't eat a thing nor could I tear my eyes away from the man across from me.  
  
Dean had changed. He wasn't anything like the skinny boy who had run away from me that memorable night. His frame had thickened out, his voice was dark and sultry and his hair was cropped close to his head. Only his eyes hadn't changed. They were still liquid brown, almost black. I thought of the number of times I had wanted to drown in them and realised I still could.  
  
I forced myself to concentrate as Draco did a bitingly witty impression of Percy, the head of International Magical Co-operation. Just occasionally his eyes would flicker to the top table where his love was as if to reassure himself that he was still there.  
  
Then it was time for the speeches. Mr Granger spoke of his daughter and her new husband with pride. So he should. Hermione could very well be the next Minister for Magic and Ron is a brilliant Obliviator.  
  
Then Ron stood up and thanked us all for coming, for the lovely wedding presents (my twin barn owls were inspired. With any luck one of them might eat Pigwidgeon) on behalf of himself and " Mrs Weasley. "  
  
Then it was Harry's turn. His speech was witty, warm and affectionate as he spoke of the love Ron and Hermione had for each other.  
  
" Ironic, really. " he said, a private message for Draco in his sparkling emerald eyes, " The first time they met, they detested each other." He concluded with a toast to the bridesmaids.  
  
Then it was party time. Time for Finnigan to shine, except I wasn't sparkling much.  
  
Draco and Parvati got up to dance; ice and fire, moving slowly together. Which left Dean and I.  
  
" How've you been? "  
  
" Fine, thanks. " Poker faced.  
  
~ Nice one Finnigan. He obviously thinks you're still a pervert ~  
  
" What're you doing with yourself, Dean? "  
  
" I'm an illustrator for Whizz Hard Comics. "  
  
Of course he had always been brilliant at drawing.  
  
" Enjoy it, do you? "  
  
" Yeah. " There's a ghost of a grin and I'm encouraged.  
  
" Would I have seen any of your stuff? "  
  
" Not unless you've got children. "  
  
" No. What about you? "  
  
" No. "  
  
" Married? "  
  
" No. You? "  
  
" No. "  
  
Bang goes the dark beauty and the ankle-biters theory. God, look at him. You'd think he'd be fighting them off with a big stick yet he's come here alone, same as me. Woah. Let's not go down that road.  
  
" It's nice to see you again. " he ventured.  
  
I was about to grab the olive branch when Parvati tapped me on the shoulder and demanded that I dance with her. I got to my feet and led her across the floor in a sizzling lambada that was just suitable for mixed company and which left us breathless.  
  
" Bloody hell, Seamus! " she exclaimed, her dark eyes sparkling.  
  
" Natural rhythm, babe. " I retorted and willingly relinquished her to Fred Weasley, returning to the table, which was now full, as Ginny and Harry had joined us. I had to sit beside Dean, which was no hardship at all.  
  
Well, we had a high old time catching up with all the news and gossip and the ice between Dean and me was well and truly broken, especially as the champagne just kept flowing. Knowing that I'd regret it in the morning I helped myself to another glass. It was time to see off the bride and groom.  
  
I grabbed Hermione for another kiss. She blushed and kept on blushing as Harry grinned and said,  
  
" Be gentle with him. "  
  
" Oh shut up! " yelled Ron as the rest of us howled with laughter. Another round of hugs and kisses and they Disapparated.  
  
His duties as best man now over, Harry turned his attention to Draco and I looked at Dean.  
  
" Fancy a real drink? "  
  
" Hell yeah. This stuff. " He brandished his champagne glass " fills you full of piss and wind. "  
  
I swiftly returned with two large glasses of Bushmills and we toasted each other. As the evening wore on we got drunker and noisier, Dean staying with me all the way.  
  
Just before Tom got totally fed up and threatened to throw us out, we sat watching Harry and Draco.  
  
They were dancing slowly to a Muggle song Harry had specifically requested, entwined on the dancefloor. Draco's fingers were tangled in Harry's hair; Harry's face was buried in Draco's neck then he lifted his head to kiss his lover, one hand caressing the pale cheek lovingly.  
  
It was a beautiful, tender moment that I felt privileged to have seen. Beside me, Dean let out a soft moan.  
  
" Look at them! " he whispered. " They're so beautiful. "  
  
" Yes they are. " I replied, deeply surprised at his appreciation.  
  
" Seamus, I need to talk to you. Not here and now, but soon. Where can I reach you? "  
  
" St Mungo's. " I replied.  
  
" Good. I'll see you soon. And one more thing..."  
  
To my complete astonishment he bent down and kissed my lips very gently. Before I could react, he was gone.  
  
I sat there and grinned like the village idiot, the light touch of his mouth burning like a brand. It took me ages to get home. I was so drunk and so euphoric that if I'd tried to Disapparate they'd have found bits of me all over Diagon Alley.  
  
  
Two days later I was up to my ears in it at work. There was a nasty goring to be dealt with. One of Ollivander's collectors got a bit too close to the unicorn he was supposed to be taking tailhair from and it wasn't a pretty sight. I healed him in no time, not before getting a veinful of blood over my already abused robes for my trouble.  
  
I was thinking about hot coffee when I was approached by Martin Fletcher, one of the brightest graduates I have ever known and who'll be after my job very soon.   
  
" Dr Finnigan, there's a man in your office. I'm sorry but he won't leave until he sees you. "  
  
Oh, wonderful. Probably an ex-patient from the Maladies wing waiting to either hug me or kill me. You never can tell.  
  
" It's okay, Martin. Tell you what, you come with me just in case things turn ugly. Did he give a name? " Martin shook his head.  
  
" What does he look like the? "  
  
" Big. Nervous. Casually-dressed. " Very observant, my apprentice.  
  
" Fair enough. "  
  
We reached my office and I pulled out my wand and stalked in, a selection of curses on my lips, just in case. A Full Body-Bind on someone who is still taking instructions from the purple rhinoceroses helps them forget whatever cute move they had planned.  
  
" And what can I do for you, Mr..." I stopped dead in my tracks. It was Dean looking drop-dead gorgeous in jeans and a denim shirt. Martin was right. He was nervous.  
  
" Hello, Seamus. " he said.  
  
" Dr Finnigan, should I.."  
  
" Go away, Martin. Very quickly. And I'm not to be disturbed unless it's a real emergency. Understand? "  
  
" You got it. " he said and left.  
  
" Dean. This is a lovely surprise. You look ~practically edible ~ great. "  
  
He grinned, curving that divine mouth.  
  
  
" You don't look so hot., " he said. I grimaced as I saw my Healer's robes were covered in blood, creams and potions and what looked suspiciously like vomit. For the first time since I can remember, I blushed.  
  
" What time do you finish here? " he asked me.  
  
" Officially midnight. It may be later, it all depends. "  
  
His face fell. " Oh "  
  
" Why? " I was curious.  
  
" I wanted to take you for a drink. You know. To talk to you like I promised. "  
  
I could have screamed with frustration but instead, inspiration struck. I grabbed a quill and a fragment of parchment and scribbled something on it.  
  
" I hope you don't think I'm being horribly forward but this is my address. There's wine and whiskey in the cupboard and loads of food if you're hungry. I'll wrap things up here as quickly as I can and then we can talk for as long as we need too. Is that okay? "  
  
"Inspired." he said, grinning again taking the scrap of parchment from me and preparing to Disapparate.  
  
I flew through the rest of the shift. ~ Dean's waiting in my house ~ running constantly through my brain. I showered away the hospital smell and changed into clean clothes, Disapparating before anyone could think of a reason to detain me. As I Apparated outside my front door I realised I was nervous. Really nervous.  
  
I opened the door to be met by a subtle waft of spice, warmth and light. He had lit the fire and the candles. He was sitting in my favourite armchair and, before he registered my presence, I thought how at home, how right hr looked there.  
  
Seeing me he jumped to his feet but I motioned him back down and helped my self to wine, ~ Not whiskey. Don't get pissed and blow it again, Finnigan~ and curled up on the sofa.  
  
" You look worn out., " he said, concern in his liquid eyes. " Is it rough working there? "  
  
And before I knew it I was spilling out all my thoughts, fears, triumphs and disasters. I realised how much I'd missed having a real friend to talk to. Lovers by the score but no one to care for me. Hesitantly he got up and sat beside me, pillowing my head in his lap as we continued talking.  
  
" It's great to have you back. " I said softly. " I missed you so. "  
  
The hand that was stroking my hair stopped and I looked up at him.  
  
" I mainly came to apologise," he said.  
  
" For what? " Now I'm confused.  
  
" Remember the party? Remember what you said to me? "  
  
As if I could forget. " I told you I wanted you and you ran. "  
  
" I was confused. I didn't really know what I wanted. All I knew was that my best friend in the whole world, about who I was having some weird feelings, had made a pass at me. It didn't seem right. Not when I was so unsure. That's why I ran. "  
  
" Fair enough. " I replied. My yes were getting heavier and heavier. I was so comfortable with him here, now. His voice was coming from far away.  
  
" Later I wished I hadn't. I wished I'd come back and let you love me. That's why I haven't been in touch. In case you hated me. I couldn't bear that. Seamus?"  
  
I replied with a resounding snore. The great seducer, lover of hundreds and notorious party animal had fallen asleep.  
  
I awoke the next morning in my own bed, fully dressed and alone. I swore loudly and fluently in Gaelic. I had had the man of my dreams right where I wanted him and what had I done? Nodded off. Well that was that. There was no way he'd come back after that fiasco.  
  
Today was my day off so I padded into the kitchen and made coffee.  
  
" Hope you've made enough for two. " said a familiar voice. I nearly scalded myself as Dean walked into the kitchen, sleepy eyed and rumpled.  
  
" You stayed? " I was unable to keep the surprise and delight out of my voice.  
  
" Yeah. " He looked a bit sheepish. " Hope you don't mind but you did fall asleep at a rather inopportune moment. " I grinned.  
  
" I never did have any sense of timing as far as you were concerned. "  
  
" Do you remember what I said? "  
  
I put my coffee cup on the bench. " Every word. "  
  
His arms opened and I stepped willingly into them, resting my head on his broad shoulder, melting into his embrace, my body aching for such tenderness. I felt his lips brush my hair then one finger was tilting my chin up and his lips smothered mine. He tasted of sun and sleep and ~ Bloody Hell, Dean. Where did you learn to kiss like that? ~ Was my last rational thought as he pulled me insistently towards the bedroom.  
  
I made him cry. I made him scream aloud with pleasure but that was nothing to how I felt as I realised that I'd fucked plenty but I'd never made love and the words welled up in me, the words I should have said to him years ago.  
  
" I love you, Dean. " I whispered knowing that if I were ever parted from him again I would die.  
  
" I love you too, Seamus. So much. "  
  
Oh help, I was crying again but he kissed away my tears not knowing they were tears of happiness.  
  
I waved away my old persona. No, no regrets for the loss of what I was only hope for what we might be as I held him tight and the passion started to rise again.  
  
  
  



End file.
